Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Run Baby Run

My hubby ran in the Borneo International Marathon earlier in May. He was up and ready to go at 130am. The flag off for the full marathon was at 3am.  42km. It took him around 5 and a half hours to complete the marathon. That's practically running all across the city and back again.

And then there was Singapore at the end of the month.  A so called Sun Down Marathon which turned out to be an almost midnight marathon.  They kicked off at 1130pm. Hubby notified me when he finished at around 5+ am.

Who in their right mind does this? Run for more than 5 hours straight... other than Forrest Gump, that is!  He admitted, it's crazy. And that by the 30th kilometer, he was counting down the kms with his mind wandering all over the place, which he didn't care to elaborate and just said that it is between him and the road. He admitted that there times he was ready to surrender.  What made you go on, I asked? He said he just had to keep going.

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Dear Mom

Hi Mommy,

It's been a while.  Time moves so fast that it's almost mid year now.  A lot of things have happened these past few months. On the 8th March, a plane went missing after taking off from KL en-route to Beijing.  It's been more than 50 days and they still haven't found a trace of the plane and the 239 people on board.  It's such a mystery.  I know you would be sitting in front of the telly following every update of this story.

The kids are growing up beautifully.  Yasmin is in Primary 3, she's improved a lot in school but she still has that naughty, don't-wanna-listen-let-me-be streak.  She plays and teaches Ashraf a lot, which is good and not so good at the same time! Ashraf Zane, he is blooming.  He speaks well now.  Still a lot of baby talk and his own words but once in a while he comes out with some bombastic words and we all wonder, 'Wh-where did you learn that?'  He's a joy. I know you would love seeing him and playing with him and  laughing at this antics.

Naderah is getting married soon, next month actually.  We just received the wedding invitation and wow, it's beautiful and thick!  I think they have all the preparations under way.  Too bad we won't be here at the time of the wedding.  We're going to Singapore for a family getaway.  Well, Rizwan is running in the marathon and we somehow got tagged along.  I'll miss the wedding for sure.  Not many more weddings to go to these days.  Indeed, Naderah's may be the last for now.  I know you would be busy helping them out with the arrangements, voicing out your own thoughts (to me) and sitting proud on the big day as you considered her just like one of your own.  I know they will miss you on that day.

Me? Well, I'm doing good.  I'm keeping busy.  Alhamdulillah, I have had a steady stream of work since last year.  Not so much worries about money and bills.  I know I should be saving more but I remember you always said, 'What's the use of that money if you aren't going to spend it?' What's the  use of working so hard, yeah?  Life is meant to be lived, money is meant to be spent, for the right purposes of course.  I've got a big project coming up, hopefully.  I hope it goes well and I can share it with you soon.

It's been more than a year now.  Not a day goes by that I don't think of you, mommy.  Everything, everywhere is a reminder of you.  I worry that Bapa is all alone.  I break down almost every time I drive home, realizing that you are not there anymore, sitting at your favourite spot.  I miss you, but I know God loves you more.  I pray that you are resting in peace and in God's grace.  I'll talk to you again soon.

Your daughter,

Thursday, March 21, 2013


Isn't it funny (and wonderful) how certain things can invoke different and very particular memories.

I'd be taking a hot shower and my memory flashes back to my younger self, almost twenty years ago, taking a hot shower in a hotel in Miri.  I was attending the pre-departure briefing before my trip to the UK, after being awarded a scholarship to pursue my degree there.  It was an exciting time and I was also anxious and tired from the long day of listening to what to expect when we arrive in the UK. The briefing room and the hotel was cold and the hot shower provided much solace and relief at the end of the day.  I don't know why my memory flashes back to this particular moment in time.  I have taken many a hot showers through these years, some in places that are probably much more memorable than that small hotel in Miri.  But I suppose it had to do with the fact that it was a point where I was just embarking into adulthood and independence. I just made a decision and signed a contract that would forever change my life from there on, without really knowing what I was getting myself into.

I'd walk past a bakery and inhale the aroma of freshly baked bread and pastries and this takes me back to Manchester.  I loved the piercing smell of bread that came from the bakeries in Marks & Spencer, my usual weekly haunt.  Later on, I moved to a hall of residence that was on top of a row of shops. And my room was right above this small pattisserie where I'd stop by to grab my favourite cheese and onion pasties en route to my little abode.  Add in the soundtrack of Ronan Keating and Mojo and this picture of Manchester is complete.  It was a different and more empowering time in my life.  I had grown up somewhat from those days of insecurity and following everyone else's suit.  I was pursuing my masters, I had a job that I was grateful for, I had met some friends who had somewhat changed my perspective and I was living in a city where I barely knew anybody. It was refreshing, I knew what I wanted and who I was.. somewhat.

This morning, I was making fried rice. And suddenly, I was transported back to this time where I remembered my mom or my grandma cooking in the kitchen.  The smell emanating the whole house was that of comfort. I would sit back and enjoy what I was doing, knowing fully that I would have a nice meal to devour before heading off to school or making it a night.  And now, here I am. I'm the one cooking for my family, for my kids.

And the memories keep flooding by, different things will remind me of different parts of my life. Make me think of the things I wish I knew back then. How things could have turned out differently. How things are now. I suppose it is like this when you grow older. Memories are all that you have. Some of them need to be told, else there will just remain that and it would be as though they never happened..

Sunday, March 03, 2013

Don't Give Up

Not loving Jason's scruffiness, but totally loving this song.

Keep looking up, don't give up, make the difference that you can make. You're worth it

Monday, November 26, 2012

Try a New Tune

Sometimes I like to press 'rewind' on my iPod and listen to the same song over and over again. But it occurred to me that if I just listen to the same song all the time, I may miss out on what great song may be next (mine is on shuffle).. 

And even if the next song isn't as great as the last, at least I gave it a listen...

You can never know what different things you'll hear each time or what it might add to your day that day...