Wednesday, January 09, 2019

Hello 2019!

Happy New Year!
Alhamdulillah...we made it! Another year..another chance to be better.
Mari..sama-sama kita memperbaiki diri tahun ini.

Tuesday, January 30, 2018

There are days...

...when you can feel so drained, down and out, unappreciated. When your only thoughts are..can't I just have a moment?

But perhaps, as the one depended on, you are just supposed to absorb it in. For them. So they wouldn't have to carry it on. You be the stronger one. For them. For now.


Monday, November 27, 2017

Is there anything better than butter?

"Is there anything better than butter? Think it over, any time you taste something that's delicious beyond imagining and you say 'what's in this?' the answer is always going to be butter. The day there is a meteorite rushing toward Earth and we have thirty days to live, I am going to spend it eating butter. Here is my final word on the subject, you can never have too much butter."

 “Cooking is like love; it should be entered into with abandon or not at all.”

 "Everything in moderation... including moderation.”

 "Always remember: If you're alone in the kitchen and you drop the lamb, you can always just pick it up. Who's going to know?"

 "If you're in a good profession, it's hard to get bored, because you're never finished-there will always be work you haven't done."

 "The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook."

Heeeheee! I found this whilst browsing through my old drafts - a collection of quotes from Julia Child. This must have been around the time I watched the movie Julie & Julia :) A very delightful movie indeed. The bit about the lamb..LOL! And yes, isn't butter cake the most heavenly thing.

Sunday, August 13, 2017

Feeling Cinderella

(suddenly felt like writing here I am)

I've been pretty active and busy with Toastmasters lately. The past month and all through September will be busy with installation ceremonies for new club excos, as the new term in Toastmasters just started. Tonight, I attended the installation of KK Advanced Toastmasters club, many of their members of which are always supportive of our club.

So anyway, all these meetings, gatherings and dinners have made me feel somewhat like Cinderella. (Ngeh, perasan nih. Kasi chan la bah..) Being that I work from home, my daily dress up routine usually consists of some jersey shirt or blouse, black slacks or a pair of jeans and the instant-est tudung I can grab a hold of. Being out and about, I get to actually dress up a bit, spray on some perfume and put on some make up and high heels (the highest I can tahan..then come home all sore..).

Like tonight, I had on the full ensemble of foundation, eyeliner, eye shadow, mascara, the reddest lipstick I could find, satin shawl by Yuna and gold blouse by Poplook.

Coming home, changing into my jammies (jammies ala kampung: t-shirt and kain sarong je), pouring out the make up remover, taking off the war paint (as my friend Rachel would say), then proceeding to put away the laundry and do some dishes... really felt Cinderella-ish. Bukan kah? :)

Well, playing make believe is always fun. Came back with both shoes unfortunately, no other Prince Charming to come a searching.


Wednesday, April 06, 2016

Moments & Dreams

My daughter found an old photo of me and my friends. I looked at the photo and instantly remembered the moment it was taken.

She asked me, ‘But mommy, why is it blurry?’

So I explained to her, ‘This was when we didn’t have mobile phones and front facing cameras. So we couldn’t do selfies or wefies. We had to use the old automatic camera and the self timer, and hope for the best. And even then, we had to wait until we finished the entire roll of film, and send it to the shop to be ‘washed’ before could see the real photo.’

She looked at me, puzzled, and proceeded to call her brother, ‘Hey look Ashraf! It’s a photo of mommy from the OLDEN DAYS!’

Ladies and gentlemen.

I’m going to let you in on a little secret. I will be turning 40 this year. I know, I don’t look it, right? Some days I feel like I’m still that 17 year old girl, just finishing high school.

Speaking of school, last year, I attended my school reunion. You see, I went to a boarding school. So these were guys and girls that I spent 5 years with, day and night, weekends and holidays, in sickness and in health, for better or worse, til SPM do us part.

So I spent that reunion night reconnecting with many friends I hadn’t seen for nearly 20 years. Remembering, reliving our glory days, catching up and discussing what the future holds. It was a momentous night and we went back with promises to meet again for another reunion in 3 years time.

I went back, with my head in the clouds, feeling like I was 17 again. Remembering how I was back then.  At 17, I was hopeful, dreamy, ambitious, naive, insecure and clueless about a lot of things.

Today, at almost 40, I’m older, wider and wiser (I hope). But deep down, I’m still that hopeful and dreamy girl I was back then.

At nearly 40 as well, I’m very much aware of the fact that my days are numbered. I know it’s morbid, but it’s a fact of life. Sadly enough, I have lost a number of friends over the years due to illness and unfortunate circumstances.

Last year, I lost one friend in particular. I hadn’t seen him in some time and I wasn’t particularly close with him but we did spent one summer holiday doing our industrial training together. This guy.. He was one of the smartest, most talented person I knew. Full of life, kind and generous.  He was struck by a brain infection and passed away about a month after.

I attended his funeral service and thought I would be able to remain calm and collected. But as soon as I passed his casket to pay my final respects, I completely lost it and began to bawl like no tomorrow.


I went back and told my other friends that we can’t, we shouldn’t, wait another 3 years for the next reunion. Because... life is short. So short. We never know what can happen.

The reunion.. made me dream and feel young again. 
But losing my friend... was a definite wake up call.

I got to thinking of all the dreams and ideals I had back in my younger years – I wanted to write and publish a book, I wanted to travel the world, I wanted to go to Space Camp in the USA, to get married and have kids.

SO here's what I've decided.. this year, I want to start chasing dreams again. I’ve written a book that fingers crossed will be published soon. I have some travel plans in store. I want to read more, write more. I may be too old for Space Camp but who knows??

Ladies and gentlemen.

What’s your dream? What was your dream back in your younger years? I believe, it’s never too late! Take a moment to remember and dream again. Meet up with old friends. Organize a reunion. Make plans.

Because at the end of this all, I for one, want to be able to look back at all the photos from the olden days, even the blurry ones, and remember.. all those happy moments. Wouldn't you?

One more thing before I go, I want to remember this moment too. Smile everyone! *Grabs phone. Takes picture*

Over to you, contest chair!

About Moments & Dreams

This was my speech for my club level International Speech contest held in March 2016. I won the club level and went on to represent my club in the Area level contest, at which I got first runner up.

The speech was initially titled The Olden Days and was really inspired by that moment when Yasmin saw my old photo, which was indeed blurry, and called it as a photo from the oooolden days (ala Peppa Pig). I thought it would make for a good humorous speech and was saving it (if ever I needed to do a humorous speech). But when I was asked to take part in the International Speech contest (which is meant to be an inspiring speech), I got to thinking of how I could make it into what was hopefully, a good inspiring speech. The reunion, losing my really happened. And it was indeed two defining moments I had last year.

I think it is one of the best speeches I've written (*cough* perasan sebentar). It means a lot to me. I love it. I thought I did have a good chance of winning. But alas.. that doesn't matter really.  

I hope you enjoyed reading it, and hopefully it stirred something in your soul, to remember your own moments and dreams.

Much love,

17 again

Rest in peace, Jeff.